Monday, November 21, 2011



APEX FEST IV - drones+death


(oppressively tense pe/darkambient/deathindustrial)

(ultra-brutarian ambient doom from david graham of HUMAN QUENA ORCHESTRA)

(plaintive shoegaze-tinted drone/post-metal)

(obstinate beat-driven minimal synth/coldwave)

(unrelentingly miserable pe/deathindustrial)

(minimal analog industrial noise from pat murano of MALKUTH)

(experimental ambient/industrial noise from fade kainer of BATILLUS)

(droning ambient electronics from montana masback of TOURNAMENT)

DOORS 5PM • $10


Tonight, i received a message from a person in the multiple capacities of concerned friend, fellow power electrician, and irritated customer. this person wished to express to me his support and agitation regarding the long delay in the receipt of items he ordered several months ago. in his message, he offered examples of how i am risking excoriation on online forums and an overall loss of credibility as a reliable outlet for music. he added that martin bladh of IRM had been surprised to learn of the existence of the tshirts i produced in 2010, which i know to be a ludicrous assertion, being that said shirts were produced with his explicit blessing.

it is true that in many ways, i have fallen short of my goals for annihilvs. it is true that, during the past 14 years since i founded this label, there have been numerous periods during which the machinations of my daily life have held me back from following through on a variety of obligations related to these activities. i make no secret of these facts.

just prior to receiving this message, i'd posted the following on the annihilvs facebook page:

"Listen up, you sonsofbitches,
I will be prepping the majority of remaining pending orders over the forthcoming holiday weekend, and everything i can possibly ship will be sent off by the first weekend of december. If not, i will kill myself and nobody will get a fucking thing.
Thank you for your patience and continued support."

the following is an excerpt from my response to this person:

"...i've been doing what i do in one form or another for more than 14 years now, and i don't feel obligated to explain myself further than i have. i've not a speck of concern for what the peanut gallery of the internet has to say about the matter. i will still be doing what i do long after the internet has outlived its current incarnation. as chris from sickness once stressed to me, the internet is not "real" and those who spend the majority of their time there are of little concern. if the ntt "fans" on are any indication of the kinds of infantile losers who populate the internet, i've got very little to worry about. let them roar their loudest, i'll still be here when their voices go hoarse and silent.

obviously, i am aware that this is and has been an untenable scenario, however it's irrelevant to attempt to go into the minutiae which has led to where i now stand.

for every one person who complains about this situation, there are five who have been with me from the beginning and understand completely where i am and don't feel the need to complain. think about exactly what it is you're complaining about. there are far worse things in the world than waiting for something to show up in the mail, particularly since you can rest in the knowledge that it WILL show up in the mail, at some point. it's not as though i don't think about this, it's something of which i am constantly concerned, and irritated, but here i am. i myself have been ordering merchandise directly from artists for many, many years, and if the items take time to arrive, i understand that there are circumstances behind this.

i could probably count on one hand the number of times i've written to an artist to complain outright about an undelivered item, and i know of only one instance where i've filed a paypal dispute, for a limited tshirt which cost me $45 from a belgian artist. for fuck's sake, i ordered an "antichrist" shirt directly from lars von trier's production company, which cost me more than $30 with the conversion from euro, and i've still never received it. i'm not excusing my own actions with these examples, merely reiterating the fact that there are certainly worse things in the world than having to wait for a package in the mail.

it's also irrelevant to compare my situation to that of cold meat's "loss of credibility," which was due in large part to the dissolution of roger's marriage, which spanned decades and impacted his business directly because his wife was part of that business. his depression became unmanageable and this so-called loss of credibility is the result. so be it, i'm sure he's got plenty of other things with which to concern himself, and he's been doing what he does long enough that the "power of the internet" is merely ancillary.

as for martin, he's been well aware of the existence of the shirts, and i know full well that i have been remiss in providing artist copies, not just to him, but to a few other individuals. this is between myself and those individuals, and frankly it's none of your business.

have you ever heard of lsd organisation? frozen empire media? possessive blindfold recordings? hive records? culture shock magazine? permission magazine?

i've known dozens of people during the last 14 years who have fallen by the wayside, people who've had to fold their bands, publications, and labels for this reason or that, while i've continued to endure, through my own personal struggles; determined that the same will not happen to me, because i do what i do from a NEED to do it. however, that doesn't mean that i am immune from the pressures of living in this particular time, and i am subject to both internal and external circumstances, which have brought me to this point.

in closing, this discussion is made further irrelevant by the fact that within the coming weeks, there will no longer be any reason for this discussion to have happened at all.

satisfaction is the death of desire.

thank you for your continued patience and support."

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