'Hell is Every God Damn Thing.'
- Alan Dubin, KHANATE
It feels like a very long time has passed since i last wrote a monthly update. The sensation of catching up with the present can be jarring, but perhaps it's best to see it as an opportunity for personal progress. The changing of seasons is a good time for new beginnings and stepping forth onto a different path, adjacent to but different from that upon which one has been taking up to this point.
Admittedly, at the moment i'm having some difficulty pinpointing exactly what it is that i'd like to explain here, while knowing full well that i do feel a need to share certain things with those who may be interested.
One major reason for the lack of an update in the month of may has to do with a general lack of musical activity here, and a lack of new information that bore sharing. i spent a couple of weeks completely reconfiguring my recording setup in order to maximise space and to facilitate an entire new wave of recordings. sadly, this has yet to come to pass. mark kammerbauer (FRAGMENT KING) visited with me for some days in mid-may, and we spent an afternoon working on some material, and it did produce a single 25-minute long piece to be released under the love is nothing. name, but nothing further has come out of that session... yet.
In the time since the last monthly update, i was also drawn into an argument regarding the ever-exasperating file-sharing issue. for weeks this became a particularly looming aspect of my daily life, involving conversations and debates spread across several blogs and message boards, and conversations in real life as well. i've reached a point now where i feel inclined to simply remove myself from the discussion, if only for the simple fact that the arguments posed by the other end of the discussion are so impossibly devoid of validity, it is essentially futile to attempt to explain why, because they believe in their own bullshit so strongly that it constitutes their reality. there is no point in wasting my energy on them any more than i have.
The argument has also instilled me with a sense of futility, as i question my motivation for continuing the efforts that have brought me into this arena.
Over the past two years, i've been beset with what has seemed to be an endless nightmare of disappointments, failed relationships, foiled plans, and the person i have been seems drastically alien to the person i am now in so many ways that it's as though i am struggling with my own identity, after having had a very solid concept of the person i wished to be, just a matter of months ago.
I was slated to start a new job a couple of weeks ago, but in keeping with the way shit's been going for me, it's now out of my hands and i'm not sure when i'll be starting work. for the moment i remain in limbo, and i've developed something of a flat affect, essentially devoid of enthusiasm for very much at all.
There is a feature on NTT in the new issue of ZERO TOLERANCE magazine (http://www.ztmag.com), available now.
The writer closes the article by quoting me:
'I'm just hoping to pick up the pieces of my fucking life and move forward in some way that will allow me to shrug off the old skin that's been weighing me down.'
1. NTT. BOTTOMFEEDER C45
Delayed for two years for various reasons, NIL BY MOUTH presents BOTTOMFEEDER.
With BOTTOMFEEDER, Navicon Torture Technologies spins a twisted, noirish tale of obsession, sexual addiction and perversion.
BOTTOMFEEDER contains a collaboration track with German power electronics master [BLEED], as well as a collaborative cover version of the song UP IN FLAMES, recorded with with BAIN WOLFKIND and flame performer Paula Kaiser. UP IN FLAMES, written by David Lynch and Angelo Badalamenti, was originally performed by Koko Taylor in David Lynch's film, WILD AT HEART.
Also included are one previously unreleased track, and an extended version of the track, BLACK VOMIT OF CONTEMPT, the original version of which was featured on the ADDICTION cassette compilation released in 2008 by EN.MI.TY RECORDS.
2. NTT. THE GOSPELS OF THE GASH LIMITED BOXED EDITION
I now have my personal copies of the boxsets. I will be selling a limited number of these and they may or may not include some additional goodies to make them slightly more personal. i have to figure out what that might be before making that decision.
If anyone is looking to get a copy directly from me, get in touch by email: leech (at) aex (dot) org
To keep shit organised, i WILL NOT discuss anything regarding purchases of this release except via regular email.
That's basically all there is to share at the moment, i guess.
Fuck the ruiners, and this time around that's directed to a pretty specific cross-section of people. they should all know who they are.